1. At my desk, because my computer's on it, and I like writing on my computer. I often have nice thoughts about going to the park and sitting under a tree to write, but that doesn't usually work out, due to rain and small children and wasps etc. My least favourite place to write is in bed, in a notebook, because that usually means it's the middle of the night, and if I don't write it down I'll just be writing it in my head for hours, and either way I'll be sleepwalking my way through work the next day.

2. If I told you that it wouldn't be secret any more. And then I'd have to kill you.

3. You smell ... because you do! Um, I dunno. I can't think of any mean things at the moment.