sheldrake

Things that, in hindsight, should have tipped me off that my date with the guy from the IT department was a dream:

• When he gave me his number, it was engraved on a small ceramic tablet and wrapped in a homemade orange envelope, on which he’d written “Hope you’re ok with this, my hearing is like frogshit”.



• What endeared me to him was the disastrous morning assembly he gave, in which he alienated management with his left-leaning politics and accidentally tipped a jug of water over the arts editor.



• Our awkward small-talk included me telling him how I’d noticed his name in a book I’d been reading about sustainable farming, by Jonathan Safran Foer. He was clearly flattered by this.



• After arranging our date I returned to class, and was dismayed to realise I hadn’t been to French since 1991, which meant I was well behind all the other students.



• I barely know the guy from the IT department.

Things that, in hindsight, should have tipped me off that my date with the guy from the IT department was a dream:

• When he gave me his number, it was engraved on a small ceramic tablet and wrapped in a homemade orange envelope, on which he’d written “Hope you’re ok with this, my hearing is like frogshit”.



• What endeared me to him was the disastrous morning assembly he gave, in which he alienated management with his left-leaning politics and accidentally tipped a jug of water over the arts editor.



• Our awkward small-talk included me telling him how I’d noticed his name in a book I’d been reading about sustainable farming, by Jonathan Safran Foer. He was clearly flattered by this.



• After arranging our date I returned to class, and was dismayed to realise I hadn’t been to French since 1991, which meant I was well behind all the other students.



• I barely know the guy from the IT department.