A public service announcement

[tadorna]

Hello. Sorry I haven't posted for ages. I kept thinking I ought to post about this before I started on any of the usual waffle and fluff, and I've been putting it off because it's not something I particularly want to talk about or expend any more energy on. But it's been bothering me that there might be people who don't know about this, and who deserve to, and a public post seemed the best way to stop that from happening. A heads-up, if you will. I've thought about it, and discussed it with a friend, and I see no reason why this shouldn't be made known publicly. If there is a good reason I'm not aware of, then of course let me know.

So, this will mainly affect people who were around in the Lotrips fandom of olden times. I recently found out (from a friend on the flist, who found out from someone on her flist, etc etc) that Kia Bright, known on LJ as hjartad and then punkmeanscuddle, did not, as we were led to believe, die in 2005 from heart failure/suicide. She actually faked her own death, and is still alive. I don't know how it all came to light, but it seems pretty definite that this is the case. It seems she's still in the same job, and may have accounts at Twitter and Last.fm. Like I say, I know little else in the way of details, but feel free to email me about it if you want to.

The awful thing about cases like this (one of the awful things) is that they leave you feeling a fool. You've been duped, and you feel (however unjustifiably) that everybody else must have known and not told you. I have no idea, really, how widespread this knowledge is, but I spoke to at least one person who didn't know and was shocked to find out. And, you know... there are lots of people I like and respect around these parts, and who deserve better than the lie we were unfortunately being fed for the last few years. (Absolutely no judgement intended on anyone who didn't want to post about it, I nearly didn't myself). So, um -- if you already knew... as you were, and if you didn't, I'm really sorry to be the bearer of ugly news. Oh, and apologies to the many people to whom this will mean nothing at all -- permission to scroll on by!

Right. I shall now move on, and get back to the waffle and fluff you love so much and tolerate so kindly.

Comments

[shirasade]

Wow, this took courage. Thank you.

I'd heard about it a couple of months ago, through a friend who had stumbled across her suspected last.fm account, but I guess I kind of didn't want to believe it. We weren't close, but I considered her a friend, and it's just hard for me to accept that someone would do that who people who love them.

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

Ok, now how do I know what's true and what's not? I took her death for a fact, mostly because I understood her mother had confirmed this, and I didn't take it lightly. How can I be sure that this news is true?

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're a fool. This is so difficult for everyone, it's not easy to know what to do for the best, and like I said in your journal, there's no way in which you are to blame for any of this. Hope you're ok. x

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I know, it is shocking. No worries, hope it was the right thing to do. x

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know... I guess she thought if she was 'dead' she wouldn't be able to change her mind this time. Pity she didn't take into account all the people who were going to get hurt in the process.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hi. Yeah, I think that's a very understandable reaction. I'm just really sorry any of us were put in this position in the first place. :(

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hi, thanks for commenting. Like I said, I don't want to judge anyone for the decisions they've made, although I understand why people are upset. It's such an impossible situation (which Kia put us in) and I nearly didn't post about it either. I wanted to have as little to do with it as possible, in some ways, I didn't want to think about it or talk about it, I just wanted to move on. But I really believe that things swept under the carpet have a habit of festering, so I decided to post. I hope it was the right decision.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I know. *hugs*

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I know, I felt/feel the same way. It's really difficult.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I don't know either. :(

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I know, I know...

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

It's very hard to know what to do. I'm only really doing this because people have convinced me this is the truth, and I feel it's better to have things out in the open - it nearly always is, I find. I do hope it was the right decision. *hugs*

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know what you mean. Hopefully posting this was the right thing to do!

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know -- and online friendships are very important to me too. It's a real shame.

Thank you. :)

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

That's ok, I'm just sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I liked her too, although she could be very difficult at times. It's hard to know what to think now. :(

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hey. :) God, this thing is so difficult. I feel like I understand everyone's reactions - I had quite a few of them myself, simultaneously. The right decision is not an easy thing to come to. I'm not even 100% sure posting this was the right thing to do, although I think so. I hope so, anyway. Things are generally better out in the open, even when they're awful things.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I know, it's difficult. I can sort of see the temptation to do something so extreme, but it's a very callous thing to do to people who care about you. I can only think that she didn't understand that on a pretty profound level.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hello. Basically, I decided to post about this publicly because I felt it was something better off out in the open. Like I said, I'm only passing on what I've been told, but I wouldn't do so if I didn't believe it was the truth. So many people, some of whom I know, some of whom are friends of friends, have now come up and said they knew or suspected this to be true, I can't think it's a giant mistake or some kind of hoax. I didn't certainly didn't take Kia's 'death' lightly, either -- she was someone I thought of as a friend, and I mourned her. I continued to assume that was the case up until a few weeks ago.

From what I understand, the emails from her 'mother' were in fact from her. Obviously I can't tell you what to believe, but there are several commenters to this post who probably know much more about this than I do, and who may be able to provide more background -- although obviously I can't speak for them or make any guarantees.

[daydreambeleevr.livejournal.com]

hey there, here via a friends journal. I'm terribly grateful that you had the courage to post this information, because I believe people have a right to the truth. I understand there are those that felt it wasn't their place to tell others what Kia had done, [and i'm not referring to the people that merely suspected, but rather knew first hand] I just disagree with the thought process that allows this type of lie to be perpetrated. I'm not sure I understand why there was a sense of loyalty [and loyalty might be the wrong word, obligation?] in keeping her "secret", but whats done is done.

I didn't know Kia except through her writing. My favorite story of hers was, "Mo Caileach". (i think her writing partner in that was [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] but i could be wrong) When I read she'd died, I remember feeling deep sadness, both for the loss of such a creative person and for my friends that were genuinely cut up about her passing. To learn all these years later that she sat there while people were spilling their guts, grieving and heartsick, and she did nothing, tears at my soul. What a vile, despicable unforgivable thing for her to do.

Thank you, again, for bringing this matter into the light.

Kerry

[rodneyscat.livejournal.com]

Basically, I decided to post about this publicly because I felt it was something better off out in the open.

And I think you're right about that, especially since it's clear from your post that you can't make any guarantees. It looks like no one can. I took the news of her death for being true and now it looks like it could be false, I don't know what to believe anymore. I can understand how people who had heard earlier about the possible hoax decided not to post about it; a lot of people won't look forward to reactions like mine. Please know that I'm not aiming my confusion and frankly feelings of betrayal at you! I just don't know who to aim my feelings at.

Thank you for this post because however upsetting, I'm glad to know this is going on.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Thanks ok, I understand -- it's a very confusing, difficult thing to have thrown at you, especially when it seems to come out of the blue like this. I felt pretty much the same when I heard.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hello. Yes, I find myself understanding the both the urge to keep quiet, and the anger at not being told. As a basic principle though, I think things are better brought out into the open -- it's generally less painful, in the long run, than the alternative.

[esorlehcar.livejournal.com]

Jesus. I remember that. I didn't know her well, but I loved her writing and was shocked and deeply saddened by her "death." I appreciate the update--I thought so much better of her than that.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I know. She could be very difficult, but I genuinely liked her. Hard to know what to think now, really.

[maleyka.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's. During Lotrips times, Kia and I were never very close or anything, but certainly friendly, and... wow. This certainly is a bit of a. I don't even really know what to say.

Thank you for making this post. The decision can't have been easy. ♥