And I understand that. But I also understand not being able to say anything. It's something so enormous, so... painful that for those who were close to her when it all went down (and I wasn't one of them at the time), it must have been at least almost impossible to wrap one's head around. I know I'm still having a hard time with it and I've suspected for four years. I can't honestly say that had I found out for sure today I would have been able to post about it. I'm not saying it wasn't wrong not to tell, I'm just saying that I understand why some people might not have said anything. Just like I understand completely why you think it was wrong of them. It's such an emotional mess...