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A public service announcement
Hello. Sorry I haven't posted for ages. I kept thinking I ought to post about this before I started on any of the usual waffle and fluff, and I've been putting it off because it's not something I particularly want to talk about or expend any more energy on. But it's been bothering me that there might be people who don't know about this, and who deserve to, and a public post seemed the best way to stop that from happening. A heads-up, if you will. I've thought about it, and discussed it with a friend, and I see no reason why this shouldn't be made known publicly. If there is a good reason I'm not aware of, then of course let me know.
So, this will mainly affect people who were around in the Lotrips fandom of olden times. I recently found out (from a friend on the flist, who found out from someone on her flist, etc etc) that Kia Bright, known on LJ as hjartad and then punkmeanscuddle, did not, as we were led to believe, die in 2005 from heart failure/suicide. She actually faked her own death, and is still alive. I don't know how it all came to light, but it seems pretty definite that this is the case. It seems she's still in the same job, and may have accounts at Twitter and Last.fm. Like I say, I know little else in the way of details, but feel free to email me about it if you want to.
The awful thing about cases like this (one of the awful things) is that they leave you feeling a fool. You've been duped, and you feel (however unjustifiably) that everybody else must have known and not told you. I have no idea, really, how widespread this knowledge is, but I spoke to at least one person who didn't know and was shocked to find out. And, you know... there are lots of people I like and respect around these parts, and who deserve better than the lie we were unfortunately being fed for the last few years. (Absolutely no judgement intended on anyone who didn't want to post about it, I nearly didn't myself). So, um -- if you already knew... as you were, and if you didn't, I'm really sorry to be the bearer of ugly news. Oh, and apologies to the many people to whom this will mean nothing at all -- permission to scroll on by!
Right. I shall now move on, and get back to the waffle and fluff you love so much and tolerate so kindly.
So, this will mainly affect people who were around in the Lotrips fandom of olden times. I recently found out (from a friend on the flist, who found out from someone on her flist, etc etc) that Kia Bright, known on LJ as hjartad and then punkmeanscuddle, did not, as we were led to believe, die in 2005 from heart failure/suicide. She actually faked her own death, and is still alive. I don't know how it all came to light, but it seems pretty definite that this is the case. It seems she's still in the same job, and may have accounts at Twitter and Last.fm. Like I say, I know little else in the way of details, but feel free to email me about it if you want to.
The awful thing about cases like this (one of the awful things) is that they leave you feeling a fool. You've been duped, and you feel (however unjustifiably) that everybody else must have known and not told you. I have no idea, really, how widespread this knowledge is, but I spoke to at least one person who didn't know and was shocked to find out. And, you know... there are lots of people I like and respect around these parts, and who deserve better than the lie we were unfortunately being fed for the last few years. (Absolutely no judgement intended on anyone who didn't want to post about it, I nearly didn't myself). So, um -- if you already knew... as you were, and if you didn't, I'm really sorry to be the bearer of ugly news. Oh, and apologies to the many people to whom this will mean nothing at all -- permission to scroll on by!
Right. I shall now move on, and get back to the waffle and fluff you love so much and tolerate so kindly.
no subject
Back in the summer of 2003, I used to spend hours online chatting on IM with three people: Kia, and two others. they were my best friends and I was more than a little in love with one of them at the time. Long story short, from being really close, something went down in the following months and at the beginning of 2004, the four of us had a big... fight, I guess. I never fully understood what happened and I was hurt more than I've ever been by the whole thing. In the aftermath, one of us and Kia pretty much went their own way and the other one and I were left behind. It was a very ugly thing and I spent months licking my wounds. I'm still licking them to be honest.
Fast forward to September 2005. After a year of silence, Kia wrote to me and apologized, asking about renewing our friendship. I was hurt, badly, and I just couldn't. I told her it was too hard for me and that I was sorry and forgave her but could not forget. Two weeks later, I was getting an email from "her mom" telling me that she'd died. I believe I was one of the first to post about her death on LJ, and I felt terrible, sad, guilty, crushed. I hated myself for having rejected her, I honestly thought that I was partly responsible for her death. Maybe I was, maybe I was partly responsible for her faked death, I'll never know. I'll probably always feel a little bit guilty. I mourned her and I cried for days, literally. The whole affair was devastating. Ryn and I both got emails from Kia's supposed mom, we were both told in details about what had supposedly happened, how she'd died, etc.
Not long after that, our two other friends renewed their friendship and for some reason, soon discovered that Kia's death had most likely been faked. While I haven't been friends with one of them for years, the other one told me about their suspicions. I've known about this for four years, now. But to be fair, I was never 100% sure, had no proof and knew no one willing to talk with me about it. None of us who suspected knew for sure, I don't think anybody had enough proof until very fairly recently so it was more something we suspected strongly than something we knew for certain. Accusing someone of faking their own death is clearly not something you can do lightly and without proof. As a result, I decided not to say anything, to let her be. I also stopped talking about her in any way after that because while I wasn't sure her death had really been faked, I had enough suspicions that I didn't want to keep leading people on. I am relieved and grateful that you've posted about this today because I was still waiting for closure and I think maybe today I can finally mourn something that I was never able to completely get over. The loss of Kia and our other friend's friendships, the hurt of feeling so disgustingly betrayed, the guilt over having rejected her, etc. Kia's changed the way I apprehend things and people on the net forever, I don't think I can ever trust anybody quite completely ever again. But yes, finally today, four years after that fateful email from "her mom", I can finally, finally put the whole thing behind.
I'm sorry I never said anything but thank you for having the courage to do so. From the bottom of my heart.
PS: I'm sorry for editing this comment but I kind of reacted to this without thinking and while I realize it's a little late to start thinking, I thought it was wrong of me to name names. I'm such a fool. Sorry.
no subject