A public service announcement

[tadorna]

Hello. Sorry I haven't posted for ages. I kept thinking I ought to post about this before I started on any of the usual waffle and fluff, and I've been putting it off because it's not something I particularly want to talk about or expend any more energy on. But it's been bothering me that there might be people who don't know about this, and who deserve to, and a public post seemed the best way to stop that from happening. A heads-up, if you will. I've thought about it, and discussed it with a friend, and I see no reason why this shouldn't be made known publicly. If there is a good reason I'm not aware of, then of course let me know.

So, this will mainly affect people who were around in the Lotrips fandom of olden times. I recently found out (from a friend on the flist, who found out from someone on her flist, etc etc) that Kia Bright, known on LJ as hjartad and then punkmeanscuddle, did not, as we were led to believe, die in 2005 from heart failure/suicide. She actually faked her own death, and is still alive. I don't know how it all came to light, but it seems pretty definite that this is the case. It seems she's still in the same job, and may have accounts at Twitter and Last.fm. Like I say, I know little else in the way of details, but feel free to email me about it if you want to.

The awful thing about cases like this (one of the awful things) is that they leave you feeling a fool. You've been duped, and you feel (however unjustifiably) that everybody else must have known and not told you. I have no idea, really, how widespread this knowledge is, but I spoke to at least one person who didn't know and was shocked to find out. And, you know... there are lots of people I like and respect around these parts, and who deserve better than the lie we were unfortunately being fed for the last few years. (Absolutely no judgement intended on anyone who didn't want to post about it, I nearly didn't myself). So, um -- if you already knew... as you were, and if you didn't, I'm really sorry to be the bearer of ugly news. Oh, and apologies to the many people to whom this will mean nothing at all -- permission to scroll on by!

Right. I shall now move on, and get back to the waffle and fluff you love so much and tolerate so kindly.

Comments

[ipso--facto.livejournal.com]

Thanks for saying this, duckie. I recognize how hard it must have been and I'm grateful you took the time to share the knowledge. While I wasn't, perhaps, as close to her as some, I'm fairly sure that you and I actually ended up talking because of her. So despite all of this, I have some fairly good memories and experiences that I owe to her, and this doesn't change that. I'm honestly surprised that I'm not more angry with her about this. It seems like a perfectly reasonable reaction. I guess all I really feel, though, is sadness that so many people were hurt - and that she was unable to overcome her own challenges in any positive way. What's interesting is that her death seemed so tragic, at the time, and now, years later, it reveals itself to be even more so.

Also, I don't think it's at all fair or productive in any way to direct anger at those who knew and didn't say anything. And I say that as someone who considers herself fairly close to some of the interested parties. Kia's decisions were her own and even if they were hurtful to others, as her former friends, I think these people were right to respect her wishes to disappear. Who knows what further psychological damage this thing coming to light could have inflicted that close to the event on someone who was obviously already unstable. The whole thing is terrible and the pain is so needless, and I'm not sure that there is a lesson to be learned here for those of us she deceived. But maybe there's a lesson in it for Kia, and who knows? Maybe it's something that will help her. But even if not, at least now the truth is out and everyone can start to heal.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hey. :) God, this thing is so difficult. I feel like I understand everyone's reactions - I had quite a few of them myself, simultaneously. The right decision is not an easy thing to come to. I'm not even 100% sure posting this was the right thing to do, although I think so. I hope so, anyway. Things are generally better out in the open, even when they're awful things.