sheldrake

Sat, 25 Apr 2026 12:31:03 GMT

Wow, under a year between posts. Just doing this because I wrote some fic and I've always put them here in the past, so why not? In order of posting:

A Farewell to Arms (1112 words) by sheldrake
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Night Manager (TV 2016)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jonathan Pine/Original Octopus Character
Characters: Jonathan Pine, Original Characters
Additional Tags: POV Second Person, reader is an octopus, reader is an arms dealer, Jonathan Pine is arms-dealer-sexual, Crack, jonathan pine x octopus, vague reference to spy/octopus sexual liaisons
Summary:

You are the most powerful octopus arms dealer in any hemisphere, but you've finally met your match in double-crossing British intelligence agent Jonathan Pine.

*

If you close the door, the night could last forever (1651 words) by Neveradullday
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Night Manager (TV 2016) RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Diego Calva/Tom Hiddleston
Characters: Diego Calva, Tom Hiddleston, Camila Morrone, Georgi Banks-Davies
Summary:

It's just a night out in Medellin.

*

In the Garden of Forking Paths (5971 words) by sheldrake
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Night Manager (TV 2016)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Teddy Dos Santos/Jonathan Pine
Characters: Teddy Dos Santos, Jonathan Pine, Corky the Cat (The Night Manager)
Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, yes both just go with it ok, Parallel Universes
Summary:

Jonathan Pine is not dead. Alex Goodwin is going out with his neighbour.

This is a gentle romantic comedy wrapped in a thin layer of violent romantic tragedy. Not a fix-it... unless it is. Depends how you look at it.

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hello

Fri, 09 May 2025 15:33:23 GMT

I went down a nostalgia rabbithole at the weekend and read a bunch of old journal entries, so I thought I'd come here to confirm that yes actually, things really were better in the old days - and also to say hi to probably the same three people who follow me on all the other social mediases. *waves*

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WIPstract

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 18:27:17 GMT

Hi yeah, so I know I haven't posted for *checks* a year and a half and er two years before that, but I was musing to myself in the echoing ruined halls of what used to be Twitter, occasionally kicking bits of rubble and staring into the pools of unidentified black viscous liquid etc, and it occurred to me that the scene with feeding the ducks in Good Omens 2 (if you've seen that and even if you haven't) rather pleasingly mirrored a scene in a Doctor Who fic I started writing in 2018 or 19 and never finished. And while I'm aware this is almost certainly of interest only to me (being the author and also a duck), I thought I'd like to stick it somewhere to compare or even just look at and remember that I used to write words - and turns out this is still the best place to just stick things, so here it is. It's set about 4 episodes after the Doctor regenerated into 13, not that it's particularly relevant.

*

( Tries to remember how to do a cut thingy )

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oh my god what is this a post?

Sat, 26 Mar 2022 15:47:59 GMT

well why not eh? Nicked from starshipfox

1. First Name: Duckie. Is one of my names people actually call me.

2. Age: 47 wtf

3. Location: A fine medieval city known as Norwich, because that is its name.

4. Occupation: I slog away in the Local News mines, in a 'making it look nice' capacity. It's a dirty job but someone's got to mine all that news.

5. Significant Other: None, I'm too weird for all that nonsense now.

6. Kids: oh my god, where?

7. Brothers/sisters: Unfortunately

8. Pets: Plants. My mum has a cat called Grayling who is my sister in fur. She is very soft and very loud and very old.

9. List the 3 biggest things going on in your life: Being old. Living in the horror that is 2022. Er. Dinner. To be honest I don't really have any, just lots and lots of small ones. For example: plans include knitting a new jumper, learning some more things to play on my charity shop ukulele, maybe do some drawing, and try to write down some of the poems and stories in my head before they disappear.

10. Where and for what did you go to School for? That's a badly construction sentence, isn't it? I went because it was the law. But if you mean continuing education, I did a two-year diploma in General Art and Design, and then a three year degree, also in Art and Design. In the wondrous magical metropolis of Ipswich, UK.

11. Parents: The traditional two - my dad died in 2018 and my mum does the Times cryptic crossword every single day of her life and has lots of Hobbies.

12. Fandoms: Ah, many over the years... But if you're reading this you probably know that, let's face it. I've not really been all that fannish lately, although occasionally vague Feelings are stirred, to what end I know not - it doesn't necessarily lead to reading or writing anything. So I just sit with the Feelings, or bleat about them on Twitter and Tumblr. Often the things stirring them are quite silly, but beloved. Ghosts did it, and now Our Flag Means Death is doing it. Which I haven't even finished watching, but I've promised myself I have to clean some of my flat before I'm allowed. Problem: surgically attached to sofa for life.

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Yuletide recs

Sun, 30 Dec 2018 21:30:40 GMT

I have become very slow and stupid, and will no doubt soon become overwhelmed by all the great fic out there to be waded through, but here are three little ones I found on my ownses:

Same Old Song and Dance

(The Good Place)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983300

Michael and Eleanor. Has a lightness of touch that feels just right to me.

*

The Marvels of Whitby

(Medieval Manuscript Illustrations)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927806

Epistolary tale of two monks arguing about bees and battle snails - a tiny gem, just as finely-detailed and colourful as its subject matter.

*

Piracy Is Our Only Option

(Sense and Sensibility - 1995 film adaptation)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17144882

More epistolary goodness - Margaret runs away to sea and sends letters home. Delightful and the style is perfect.

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Er...

Fri, 28 Dec 2018 18:51:58 GMT

How did I never notice that almost every single post I made on this journal was duplicated?

Anyway, hello. I'm afraid I have very little to say these days and can barely remember how to post, but I'll bloody well do it anyway!

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What? A post?

Mon, 13 Nov 2017 20:43:57 GMT

'People are kind,' said Claire. 'The people I know, anyway. Mrs Hedges, and Maureen, and John, and Mrs Cramp at school. Cousin Margaret, even.'

'What a benevolent girl you are. Do be careful -- stoking the fire with one arm like that.'

'I am being. It's funny what a lot of things you don't need two arms for. Why am I benevolent?'

'Finding people kind.'

'Aren't they?'

'Individually, yes,' said Aunt Susan. 'Collectively, seldom. Have a slice of my cake.'

(From The House in Norham Gardens, Penelope Lively, which I've just reread.)

And this is why we should all get off Twitter and return the the Land of Journal. The End.

(The other passage from this book that particularly resonated with me on this reread takes place in a butcher's shop, but I'm too lazy to type it all out.)

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test

Sun, 26 Feb 2017 14:32:32 GMT

hello, this is a crossposting test - exciting, I know! One day I may post actual content again.

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FIC: Local Matters (Hamilton; Burr/Hamilton)

Mon, 30 May 2016 22:03:48 GMT

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hamilton - Miranda
Rating: Teen & up
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton
Additional tags: AU - Newspaper; AU - Modern Setting; Take Your Fandom to Work Day
Summary: Aaron Burr works in the design department of a regional newspaper office. Alexander Hamilton works downstairs, in the newsroom where it happens.

Local Matters

*new fandom klaxon*

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Tube ramblings

Sat, 26 Mar 2016 18:26:58 GMT

I went to my Saturday morning writing workshop today, and our theme this week was the London Underground. This is what I wrote.

( why am I posting this here, you ask? I do not know! )

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Happy New Year

Sun, 03 Jan 2016 18:00:38 GMT

Hello, I've spent this holiday season really pushing my limits - I've broken my own record for speed-eating a Co-Op pack of mini sausage rolls all by myself, and I'm well on the way to transforming into a very beautiful slug.

God knows what happened this past year - I've forgotten most of it. I know I went to Wales at one point. I joined a local Saturday morning writing group, who are a bit like the Breakfast Club if they were in a fairground hall of mirrors. And I started enjoying Doctor Who again, which was nice. This year I've already done something I've never done before - I made hollandaise sauce, thanks to birdgerhl 's recipe on Twitter. Twitter and the internet in general continues to give me life, while slightly ruining it at the same time. Ah well.

Other things I've managed to do while being crushed by the iron grip of social media: posted a Yuletide New Year's Resolution fic, which was meant as a Treat, but although technically finished on Christmas Eve, needed some time to rest and mature in the dark. Anyway, it's a gen fic in the very popular tlftravelalerts fandom, about commuters and climate change and tea:

Metroland

Also, to continue a theme somewhat, I've rounded off my year of monthly 'stuff I wrote on the train' blog posts: Sidings. So that's that done. I might think of something else to do with it this year, or I might not.

Merry January, all of you.

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A ghost story for Christmas

Tue, 22 Dec 2015 20:57:30 GMT

Actually, this was meant to be a ghost story for several Christmases ago, but better late then never, eh?

Title: Till the Boys Come Home
Fandom: Downton Abbey/20th Century RPF
Characters/relationships: Ivor Novello/Thomas Barrow
Rating: Mature
Wordcount: 7600
Summary: Ivor Novello spends New Year's Eve at Downton Abbey, and encounters some things that go bump in the night...

Read at AO3

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beta request

Sun, 29 Nov 2015 11:19:38 GMT

Wondering if anyone would be willing to read a fic for me? It's 7600 words -ish, and it's Downton Abbey but it's sort of about Ivor Novello and ghosts and sex and class and war and stuff. Also it's written in first person in the form of a letter. I can hear you all champing at the bit as I type.

As usual, it's mostly to check for mistakes and root out obvious crapness and so on. Any offers of help gratefully received, but no need to feel obliged. Ta!

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Fic: 'Silent Retreat', Lewis, G

Fri, 20 Nov 2015 15:39:53 GMT

(Hello, I wrote a small thing. Warning: may not make much sense if you haven't seen the episode.)

Title: Silent Retreat
Characters/relationships: Robert Lewis & James Hathaway
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1700
Summary: Problems with words. And Lewis and Hathaway in a beer garden again.
Notes: Set immediately after the Season 9 two-part episode Magnum Opus. Spoilers for that episode and Season 9 generally.
Additional tags: friendship, bisexuality, episode tag, beer, pubs, drinking, sexuality, relationships, family

Read at AO3

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Tue, 03 Nov 2015 22:15:29 GMT

Hello. I've updated my weird blog, for those who were interested in being kept informed.

I had other things to say, but I am just. Too. Tired.

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PEDM

Wed, 30 Sep 2015 20:09:52 GMT

Well done everyone who posted every day, or nearly every day, or some of the days. Thanks for providing stuff for me to read this month, it's been very nice.

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Things

Wed, 30 Sep 2015 12:48:18 GMT

I had a wordpress blog that wasn't getting used for much, so I started to use it to write about the things I think about on the train:

Sidings

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Er...

Tue, 29 Sep 2015 22:46:58 GMT

Just been reading on Tumblr how many people are apparently very upset at the presence of full stops in text messages.

It's probably time I went to bed, isn't it?

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It me, as the kids say

Sun, 13 Sep 2015 12:23:50 GMT

Sometimes a lot of things seem to be happening in the brain and the world and it's hard to separate out the bits. You know?

Anyway. I just came across this article by Robert Mcfarlane, from earlier this year. It's about the eeriness of the English landscape, and so far it's mentioned MR James, Susan Cooper, Helen Macdonald, Derek Jarman, Alan Garner, and the general weirdness of the Suffolk coast. (I say so far because I'm still reading it, I was compelled to stop in the middle to post this).

Basically, if you ever wondered what was mostly going on inside my head, see above.

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pedm

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 18:40:47 GMT

I would like to congratulate everyone doing post every day month, even if they haven't managed every day. I'd like to do it too, but sadly there is nothing in my brain except sawdust.

So this is attempt to post one of the days month although it seems kind of pointless bearing in mind the result that lies before you.

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A list of things

Sun, 30 Aug 2015 13:22:56 GMT

The sea
Hawks
Thyme
Time
Swans
Mallow
Fennel
Blackthorn
Beer
Coffee
Brick
Tides
Lace
Wool
Rope
Bronze
Iron
Bread
Apples

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that british meme

Thu, 13 Aug 2015 22:43:18 GMT

Because nothing can rouse a person to journal like a British Meme!

1. Marmite- love or hate?

I am a defender of the idea that you can be indifferent to Marmite. I am aware that I'm in a minority. I mean... I *like* it ok. But my feelings aren't strong enough to be called love.

2. Marmalade- thick cut or thin cut?

No.

3. Porridge- made with milk or water?

Half milk, half water.

4. Do you like salt, sugar or honey on your porridge?

Sugar... and honey? DON'T JUDGE ME OK

5. Loose tea or teabags?

Mostly teabags because I am lazy.

6. Where on your door is your letterbox?

In the middle.

7. What's your favourite curry?

I really like a tikka masala, although I feel I ought to apologise for that. I recently sat in a car with with a bunch of people who spent half the journey sneering at tikka masala (and in fact most takeaway food) for being 'non-authentic'. They all thought the curries they cooked at home were much more authentic. They were all white English people. Actually, the most recent curry I had was in a restaurant in Norwich and it was called Beef of Bengal. It was nice, but slightly too hot for me, and I think I'd choose something else next time.

8. What age is the place where you live?

The house was built in, I think 1907? Typical Edwardian terrace, thin walls. I sometimes hear the lady next door sneeze in the night.

9. Where do the folks running your local corner shop come from?

My too closest shops are run by Mr Tesco and Madam Co-op. I've never asked where they're from.

10. Instant or fresh coffee?

Fresh, please. At work I drink a thing that calls itself 'barista-style instant', except when I allow myself a proper coffee from the canteen as a treat. It's only 60p if you take your own mug.

11. How far are you from the sea?

A short train journey. Please can someone buy me a beach hut?

12. Have you travelled via Eurostar?

Twice. I went to Bruges and to Brussels.

13. If you were going to travel abroad, where's the nearest country to you?

The Netherlands. A little bit closer than Wales, but more sea on the way.

14. If you're female (or possible even some males) do you carry a handbag?

I stick to shoulder bags and backpacks.

15. Do you have a garden? What do you like growing?

I have a garden. I like growing bindweed and nettles because apparently I've given up on this year. Next year - that'll be the year! Actually, I had some good strawberries this summer, and the apples are coming on - I like how you don't have to do anything to apples, as such.

16. Full cream, semi skimmed or skimmed?

Some people seem to be taking this question to be about actual cream, but I'm going to assume it means milk, and say semi-skimmed.

17. Which London terminal would you travel into if going to the capital?

Liverpool Street. It's built on an ancient burial ground, you know. I fully expect that to come up as one of Abellio Greater Anglia's excuses for why the train's late one day.

18. Is there a local greasy spoon where you live?

I suppose I'd nominate the Marina Cafe, which declares that it welcomes both high-heels and muddy boots. I'll get round to going in one day.

19. Do you keep Euros in the house?

I think there might be some in an old Stilton pot in the bookcase.

20. Does your home town have a Latin, Gaelic or Welsh alternative name?

Stealing this straight from a previous answerer: 'No – but it has a Saxon name, Gippeswyk.'

21. Do you have a well known local artist or author?

I shall pick an artist - Maggi Hambling. Almost every photo of her features her scowling while holding a disintegrating cigarette. Her Wikipedia entry describes her as "openly 'lesbionic' (her adjective". Please look her up on Google images if you're not aware of her - you won't regret it.

22. Do you have a favourite Corrie character?

I have never watched an episode.

23. Are your kitchen sink taps separate or a mixer?

Mixer.

24. Do you have a favourite brand of blended tea?

No. Is this a thing many people have?

25. What's in your attic if you have one?

Loft. I have no idea what's up there, but it's probably frightening.

26. If you go out for a cream tea, what jam do you like on your scone?

Happy with any, really, as long as it's not marmalade.

27. Talking of scones- scon or scown? Jam or cream first?

To quote Richard Herring: it's definitely pronounced 'scone'. Jam first.

28. Barth or bath?

aaahhh

29. Carstle or castle?

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

30. What flavour of crisps do you favour?

SALT AND VINEGAR SALT AND VINEGAR

31. If you go to the chippie, what do you like with your chips?

SALT AND VINEGAR SALT AND VINEGAR

32. Take away, take out or carry out?

See the curry answer.

33. If you have one, what colour is your wheelie bin?

Black for landfill, blue for recycling, brown to sit in the garden and slowly fill with rainwater.

34. What colour skips does your local skip hire use?

I've never hired one, but I assume it would be yellow.

35. Do you celebrate Guy Fawkes?

Not since the days when we all stood in Grandma's back garden with our sparklers. Grown-ups running back down the lawn with a lit taper... *wipes away a nostalgic tear*

(Taper, not tapir, that would have made for a very different evening.)

36. Dettol or TCP?

I never use either. Should I?

37. Do you have a bidet in the bathroom?

No.

38. Do you prefer courgettes or aubergines?

I enjoy both.

39. In the 'real world' Do you have friends of other nationalities? Which nationalities?

Yes. Do you want me to name them all now? I suppose the person of another nationality I see most often is the person I sit next to at work, who is Greek. She makes me laugh almost every day. Not today though, as she is currently in Greece. Inconsiderate.

40. Do you have a holy book of any sort in the house?

I've got The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I've got the Bible, I've got the Ikea catalogue. I'm sorted.

41. Do you prefer a hankie or tissues?

Tissues. Does anyone really have hankies now? I used to carry one as a child because I read a lot of books about Edwardian children and I very badly wanted to be one.

42. Are you a fan of crumpets? What do you like on them?

YES. I like butter or honey or jam.

43. Doorbell, knocker or both?

No knocker and the doorbell doesn't work. I've covered it with a bit of paper which appears to have been partially eaten by something. I need to sort my life out.

44. Do you own a car? What sort?

No.

45. What sort of pants do you guys prefer? Y fronts or boxers?

I've asked the guys. What do you say guys? They say could I please let them out of the cupboard under the stairs, they've been in there for weeks now and they're hungry. Which isn't even a proper answer! Honestly! Useless.

46. Anyone still a fan of suspenders?

What an odd question. I suppose some people are.

47. Do you have a favourite quote from the bard?

Which bard is this? I'm going with no, so I don't have to look one up.

48. Do you like toasted muffins?

Yes.

49. Do you think a traditional trifle should contain jelly?

That's how we always made it. So yes.

50. Do you attend regular religious worship? Of what kind?

No, mate. Not unless you count the Bake Off.

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The news

Mon, 06 Jul 2015 20:26:04 GMT

I found these when I was looking for something else. They are all taken from newspapers in my area, collected by local historian Pip Wright.

( cut text or whatever )

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telly

Sat, 04 Apr 2015 16:05:49 GMT

I've been watching The Good Wife more or less back to back for for last however-many weeks/months. I am now up to Season 5, episode 16. Anyone still here who can talk to me about this? Any lonely TV-watching rats or silverfish roaming the corridors of journal-land?

*echoes*

( Read more... )

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Kids these days...

Tue, 13 Jan 2015 00:05:09 GMT

About ten and a half years ago I wrote a very short comment-fic about Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, in which very little happened - I actually wrote it in kohaku1977's journal, if memory (and LJ Memory) serves. In due course it got uploaded, along with all my other old stories, to AO3. I tagged it as Brokeback Mountain RPF and backdated it. After that it led a fairly quiet life.

Until now! A new reader has noticed the little fic! But what have they to say?

"how come its posted on 2004 when film release date is on 2005?"

Well, dear reader, that would be because I wrote it before the film was released. But those were crazy times... things were very different back then.

Now go away.

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