sheldrake

Hi, hello, here via friendsfriends. As some people here will know/might expect to know, I've known about Kia's faking her death for some time, as have several others. I don't think anyone particularly thought it was their story to tell—I know I didn't—because we didn't do the groundwork to uncover what she'd done, and in my personal case, because of my last interactions with her over the weeks before her pseucide, I was under no illusion that I would be believed if I'd said anything much earlier than now. People were incredibly hurt first by her alleged death, and then much later by the uncovering of all of this, and honestly I'm surprised by how many people still weren't aware of what shed done. I very much hoped this would all sort of Go Away, and she'd be forgotten and unable to continue hurting people, but that was clearly never going to be a good answer. I'm very glad you posted this, because maybe it will provide closure—I hate that word and its implications, but I'm hoping you understand why I went for that easy choice of words—to those who were still mourning her, once they are able to move past their very, very legitimate anger. No one who knew was ever looking forward to all of it coming out, and certainly no one was looking for "warm fuzzies" or anything else for having kept it to themselves. I'm very much of the mind that any putting on of the mourning brakes would have been incredibly unwelcomed, shouted down, etc., especially if it had been attempted without reams of proof being presented, and no one was in possession of all or enough proof that Kia had faked her death until fairly recently.

Many, many people tried to be Kia's friend, to help her on every possible level, especially mental, emotional, and financial. As I told elouisa, we'd done nothing but ask her to be honest in her dealings with people and get help for herself, because she was draining us and then slamming the door in our faces. She became incredibly toxic. She played every single person she encountered through Lotrips on so many of those levels, and walked away the martyr. Clearly there are still people deeply affected by her and what she meant to them, and what they thought they meant to her. Which is not to say I'm surprised by the hits she's taking here now in these comments—they're very much deserved. Yes, she was/perhaps is deeply unwell, but she's also a manipulative, unkind, narcissistic person who spent most of her Lotrips fandom time deeply in denial and prepared to say or do anything to retain her standing—anything but offer the truth about herself. Evidently it became too much for her when she discovered she'd become too much for nearly all of the people who'd tried to support her. I firmly believed she could not have been more delighted than over the first few months after her pseucide, reading all those messages of goodbye. She was in faked death as sloppy as she was in true life, however, and it caught up to her.

As I said, I'm glad you posted this. The more people know now, the better, obviously.