Back (briefly) from the Abyss

[tadorna]

Every now and then I want to write Gardeners' World fic. Is that so very wrong? It's just such an odd, surreal world they inhabit -- an unnaturally quiet, slightly creepy world, like Mr McGregor's garden. An enclosed world. Watching it sometimes I feel I'm intruding, a voyeur peering through the potting shed door as Joe does something to his seed-trays. He never seems to mind, though. He looks up, sees me, and cheerily demonstrates a propagation technique, like Blue Peter for grown-ups. Through the potting shed window, I glimpse Alys tiptoeing silently by with a hoe.

***

Oh. I thought I had more to say than that. Turns out not.

Comments

[lapin-agile.livejournal.com]

xo

I would read it if you wrote it!

I'd read Mr McGregor fic if you wrote it, too. Or, y'know, Peter/Benjamin rabbit slash.

Oh, dear. I don't have more to say than that, either.

*shrugs and waves*

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I'd read Mr McGregor fic if you wrote it, too. Or, y'know, Peter/Benjamin rabbit slash.

Eee! What fantastic ideas! I might actually do one or both of these.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I listened to Gardener's Question Time today!

Do we need to add these to the yuletide list? The world clearly needs gardener!fic.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, and GW and GQT are obviously ripe for crossover material!

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

eek, they count as crossover! As if these have two entirely separate rabid fandoms.

Oh. I see.

They do.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Some of us do not watch Gardener's World and have been loyal to GQT since childhood. thpppppbt. (with, er, a bit of...straying in the Ground Force years. BUT IT'S SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE BECAUSE EVERYONE DID, OKAY?)

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see we've sown the seeds (haha) of wank and kerfuffling already. Excellent...

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:polishes fingernails: I aim to please. No matter how small the fandom is, this can be achieved. Mind you, I don't think we'll need to manufacture crack. Other fandoms will look in and go 'WTF?' automatically.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

and just think, we could include Lady Chatterley as part of the genre. :cough: Sean Bean :cough: Also, wasn't there a film with Clive Owen and Helen Mirren about the prisoners who had a garden entry at the RHS?

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Was there? Hmm, that sounds like a reasonably fun way to spend a rainy afternoon...

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

not really. I feel the world needs more professional gardener fic.

Why, why, why is there no Gardener's Question Time fic? Bob Flowerdew needs someone to write him. And Bunny Guinness. And whoever it is that dislikes fruit so much.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Yes! I don't know who doesn't like fruit, but John Cushnie doesn't seem to like anything much.

*appear to have discovered small gardening fandom*

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:muses: do you think we can add the time Ground Force came to tea and everyone stared daggers at Alan Titchmarsh and his romance novel-writing ways, whilst trying to make Charlie blush?

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

I would always approve of the mocking of Alan Titchmarsh.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

Pippa Greenwood!

I still mourn Geoff Hamilton. :-(

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

at some time, a fruit tree did something horrible to Pippa's psyche. There's nothing like them handing a fruit question over to Pippa. You can hear the evil cackle of the rest of them.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Pippa admits on her GW blog that she is obsessed with garlic. I wonder if this is related to the fruit hatred? Perhaps, somewhere along the line, she got plum trees mixed up with vampires?

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

or bulbs vs. fruits. it's entirely possible.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Ah, poor dear Geoff...

[ia-ne.livejournal.com]

I haven't got the slightest idea what you're talking about :)

Hi!

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Hooray! Hello! You win the nonexistent prize for first person to say that. :)

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

Hi, and come to the dark side of Radio 4 and the BBC, where we lure you in with gentle questions about soil and planting times and leaf blight... (also, pretty people who like getting dirty or at the very least cantankerous people with fabulous names)

[sophrosyne31.livejournal.com]

If you could see the gardening masters of Australia, you wouldn't suggest such a thing. *shudders*

They all have such big teeth, or, massive wrinkles.

Yesterday I was doing some gardening labour for my parents and blimey, if I don't think I looked quite butch. It were sexy.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Well, your version of nature is so violent and extreme. Attempting to subdue it is bound to take its toll.

blimey, if I don't think I looked quite butch. It were sexy.

I bet you did! This is the first time I've had a garden of my own, and I'm approaching it with a mixure of enthusiasm and cluelessness -- hence all the gardening programmes.

[sophrosyne31.livejournal.com]

I have no space for a garden, a situation which coincides with me desperately wanting a garden for the first time in my life. So I have pot plants. They all die. Right now they are not quite dead (the latest batch) and I rush in to check on them several times a day in case something exciting has happened in the last twenty minutes.

Sad, I know. Yes, so pitiful.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

My plants nearly always die. It's very depressing. I think they commit suicide.

[sophrosyne31.livejournal.com]

Duckie my plants aren't dead yet! They thrive! I am as proud as the discover of a universe.

Planted a whole lot of seeds in a tray, now they're growing. No idea what they are. Mysteries!

Mysteries, and bloody perseverence. ♥

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Oh well done! Scarily, I have just been given temporary ownership of a small bed in someone's allotment. Eek!

And a houseplant of mine - a sort of succulenty thing - has just grown loads of big buds, something it never does. I feel like an expectant grandmother!