Fic: 'Compilation' (EW/OB) R : comments.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
||||
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9 |
10
|
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Like all your stuff, I have to let it live in my head for awhile, and then reread it, and read it again. And then I ponder. And take notes. And then scratch all my notes out and start over. :P
As always, I love your little details, little things we think during the day but don't notice until we read that someone else has those same thoughts. I loved that about the working of the tape recorder...that mechanical clunk..hee. We had one of the first VCR's with a top-loading deck that you put the tape in and then slammed the whole thing down. When we got a newer model and it just slid into that front slot with a soft hum, I knew it was better but sometimes I missed that slam-dunk clunkiness of the first one. :P
Anyway, I notice most folks are mentioning Lij and you certainly do get into an intriguing and slightly unsettling headspace with him, but I'd also like to say that the setting is so evocative, and that I also found this all incredibly sexy. I mean, gah, Orli just lying there and making that silent offer with his body. *meep* And then when he comes back and kisses Lij...that whole description...ooh, must confess I moaned aloud at all that. Sheesh. *fans self*
And Orli gets me quite curious, too. The way he offers himself that way, and how it is so intimate yet not. The way he starts to warm up, then somehow distances himself with a single line again. And then leaves.
Orlando makes sounds. Little, interesting sounds. They're like things that have been buried a long time, things that have to be dragged out into the open, against their will. They get smothered and lost in the cushions, while his body struggles against itself, against Elijah, against the couch.
I mean, wow. There's so much there, with the two of them. All those unsaid things. I mean, buried, smothered, struggles... There's a lot going on under the surface.
Orlando is probably not the sort of person who has to look for himself.
I found this interesting, because upon further reflection I think that Elijah is wrong. I think he can't see Orli just as much as he can't see himself clearly.
And I felt like there was some undercurrent of...something...about Orli not hanging with Viggo that weekend...and that Viggo was with Sean. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I don't think that's possible. Every line, every word in one of your stories seems to hold some clue, some insight, some further question, that yes, drives me to madness. :P
Okay, soon this will be longer than your fic. *goes on contemplating*
*hopes this all comes across as mildly interesting, despite my inadequate intelligence...and a compliment* *hugs*
(no subject)
Happy-making feedback, this.
I'd also like to say that the setting is so evocative, and that I also found this all incredibly sexy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Because I'm never convinced that sexy is really one of my strengths, and I did actively want this story to be sexy, and not just an angst-fest (although that's fine too). So I'm over the moon that you said that!
I think he can't see Orli just as much as he can't see himself clearly.
Yup, that's really interesting, and I think you're right.
And I felt like there was some undercurrent of...something...about Orli not hanging with Viggo that weekend...and that Viggo was with Sean.
Ahahaha! You got it! Yes!! *does little dance*
The thing is with this story, I spent so much time angsting over whether it actually had anything to do with the lyrics, because those two lines seemed to suggest a kind of triangular relationship, and originally the story was very much about Orlando really wanting Viggo, and Elijah not being Viggo, and there was a whole load of dialogue and exposition all about that, which got scrapped. Because in the end the story was so obviously going to be about Orlando and Elijah, and this one evening. But I wanted to leave the Viggo stuff in the background, and I rather hoped people might pick up on it. I'm still not sure I succeeded in doing that, but it makes me really happy that you found it, at least. Yay!
Thank you, Shriney!
(no subject)
Just wanted to peek back and say I'm glad that my thoughts were good ones and that I was on target! heee..*dance of joy*
I really really did find it sexy, and sensual, and I'm glad I made sure to tell you. You're not as forward with your sex like us more in-your-face folks..hee..but it doesn't mean it's not as erotic..in fact the quieter, more subtle stuff can burn longer and brighter. ;P
I did feel the Viggo thing, definitely, and I thought you left enough of it in there. I think if you'd done more it would seem like you were trying to wave a red flag and force the reader to look at it...it's more fitting of this piece to just have it hanging there, in the background, making us go, "Hmm...what about?"
I of course wouldn't mind if you did more on these two/three, but I'm a sequel whore so you needn't listen to me. :P