The only saving grace of my job is the view. We have patio doors in the studio that look out into a large garden with trees at the bottom. We border the park, so we get quite a lot of wildlife. Ok, mainly pigeons and magpies, but we also have a pair of jays, a green woodpecker, even deer on occasion! Not to mention a million squirrels, who keep us entertained with their endearing survival instincts, bless 'em. Sitting up on their hind legs, nibbling acorns, gambolling across the grass, you name it. Of course, both the squirrels (grey) and the deer (muntjack) are evil non-native species doing damage to our countryside, but oh! They do it with such charm! Typist C, who is nuts -- you may remember her from the 'Brokedown Mount-aayyyn' post -- has a habit of shrieking "Ooh - a squirrel!" every now and again, as if she hasn't noticed that there are a million of the little buggers, and they're out there, doing their stuff all the time! So now, when she's not here, we've developed a habit of randomly shouting "Squirrel!" at each other. (The proper response to this is, "Where?")

Anyway, today a couple of ducks wandered into the garden, waddled around a bit, peered in the patio doors, and wandered off again. It was great. My kin!

Been doing lots of writing today! :)

Off to the Smoke tomorrow to see peeps. Yay! Just wondering what to wear. The choice is not great, as I neglected to do any washing yesterday.

Every day I go through an incredibly run-down area on the bus, called Dickens Road. Today there was a bunch of kids hanging around outside the chippy, which is not unusual, but one of them was wearing a mask. It was just a blank face, light brown in colour, with eyeholes. He ran up to the bus as it passed and jumped up at the side windows. Later I saw what I thought was a man with a ferret sleeping across his shoulders, but it turned out he was just wearing a parka.

I'm hungry.

Oh, I'm faffing. Off to London in a bit to meet with some of the lovely peoples. YAY! But just at the moment I don't know what to do with myself. I keep changing my outfit every time the sun goes in. I think I'll have a cup of tea.

Ah, that's better. Got me tea.

Right, so, in the interests of the cleaning out of closets, I thought I'd post some bits of fic what are never going to get finished. Because ... I feel like it. Not because I'm slightly worried I might never write anything again, and I'm desperately clinging to the tattered shreds of the old posting-fic-on-lj-and-getting-feedback lifestyle to which I'd become accustomed, like some sort of latter-day slashy Norma Desmond. No. That's not the reason at all. I don't expect anyone to be particularly interested - it's hardly what I'd call satisfying reading - but well, it's here if you want it. Maybe it'd be good for people with very limited concentration spans, seeing as how some of it's less than a paragraph long.

( Bits of fic )

Now I'll be going, as I've got to have some lunch before I go off to London to meet the lovely peoples and probably along the way acquire some book or other ... I forget the name. After I've read it I intend to post the entire plot in great detail for you all.

Oh, I'm kidding. Cuh! You lot! Eh? Tch! I mean ... as if! I'm far too lazy to post anything about it at all, even behind a cut.

Yesterday gabbyhope and I sneakily rummaged around in lobelia321's private files while she was out ferrying children around. Hee! It is my opinion that Lobelia's fic archive may be the eighth wonder of the world. Do see it if you get the chance.

Yes, so I've had a very cool weekend. Gabby is lovely and we had a nice day in Cambridge, waxing nostalgic about fandom and stuff. Lobelia took us on an insider tour of Cambridge colleges, which I found rather exciting. We saw St Catharine's (including exclusive viewing of Dr Sackville-Baggins's habitat), Queens, Kings and Trinity. This is the secret to not having to pay to go in places - you just walk in purposefully, looking as though you're meant to be there. It works a treat. Then we perused the zine over scones in The Copper Kettle. Yay, it's fun to casually leave porn on display in public! "She touched the zine!" we hissed, after the waitress had come to clear the table. "She is soiled forever!" Ha!

Today my mum came over with my aunt and her partner, who arrived in the country yesterday from Venice, California. I knew my aunt's partner, W, was interested in 'old things' so I thought I'd have to actually show him stuff. But apparently, he's been doing extensive research on the town since March, so he took us all on a walking tour of medieval Ipswich, using a 15th Century map. It was great!

It's such fun being a tourist!

*stops using exclamations marks*

[edited to correct grievous and shaming errors]

So, I went to London. Bus to blythely's is the 42, which would seem to confirm it as answer to life, etc etc. Blythe excellent cook and gracious hostess and generally fabulous also. We observe the wonder that is Johnny Depp in Ed Wood, followed by 'I'm not really pregnant' Scully in nostalgic X Files. Saturday, I get to use the special hobbit shower! And look out of window at Big Ben and the millenium wheel. Then we go to Walthamstow to meet other ladies of slash. On the way catch glimpse of that weirdo in the box. At lazulus's house stuff self with more excellent food. Laz gracious hostess and generally fabulous also. All the nice ladies of slash are there, also being fabulous, excepting ukcalico who is struck down with plague. We talk animatedly and at length of many things. Who knows, we may even have discussed you! Hmm. *does enigmatic look* Yes, and anyway it was well good! Must do it again sooooooooon!

And lazulus has pics here.

For once, managed to get home with no drama whatsoever. But, walking out of station, saw a bus just leaving for The Havens. How things have moved on since the Third Age. Of course, Elves run it as tourist resort now, complete with childrens' activities and Friday night karaoke.

Tonight, watched a bit of the weirdo coming out of his box. Creepy.

Have acquired plot bunny involving 17th Century portrait painter Joshua Reynolds.

Going to bed now.

On Thursday last, I (along with several others) was pleased to dine at the residence of the redoubtable clara_swift and family, where I witnessed the remarkable ability of the younger Master Swift to turn his ears inside out, so resembling those of an elf. We later played parlour games, and I failed miserably at a fiendish amusement in which the players are required to match famous actors up according to the moving pictures in which they have acted together. (This despite the kind efforts of the elder Master Swift and the lovely Miss Swift, who read out the answers to me from under the table). My team, however, later proved the victors when it came to Trivial Pursuit (children's version). Indeed, the Swifts are most excellent hosts, and I must thank them for a very delightful evening.

Then, just yesterday, it was my pleasure to receive into my humble abode the ever-charming lobelia321, along with the elder Master Sackville-Baggins. We lunched on the patio, due to the clemency of the weather, and the conversation proved lively and amusing. Later, we visited a famed example of local architecture, drank coffee at a rather questionable establishment, and accidentally went on an unplanned tour of the outlying areas of the town, for which example of my regrettable woolly-headedness I must once again apologise to the lady in question, whose excellent company it was my honour to entertain for the day.

[/early nineteenth century]

I have signed up for this two lines challenge thingy. Maybe this will spur me into actually finishing something. Just lately, I seem to have fallen into this trap of having an apparently brilliant-wow-genius idea, writing a page/paragraph/sentence (the actual amount written is getting increasingly smaller) and then having another brilliant-wow-genius idea, which this time is really brilliant, no it is, not like that last one which turns out, now I think about it, to be rubbish, and must therefore be abandoned in disgust. Almost all the ideas seem to be for weird historical AUs, or pointless spoofs, or hopeless origfic.

*beats up own brain*

Ah, well. Such is life. Farewell, friends. I go, with trepidation, to the word-processing application. But maybe I'll just have another cup of tea first. Or, I need to make some icons. And there's some ironing that needs doing...

I have eaten one square of the Legolas chocolate given to me by lobelia321. It has peanut butter in it. It is very nice. I'm going to make it last a month.

*hollow laughter*

Who was that doing hollow laughter? I will - I'll make it last a month, you'll see!

So yea, verily I did meet with lobelia321, lazulus, and ukcalico on the yesterday. And right proper did we sit down together and eat ratatouille and cheesecake and talk of the thing that is called slash, and of the foil that may be tin, or it may be aluminium, or it may yet be neither of these, but some unknown substance. And we did debate these subjects long into the evening, and we did gaze upon illuminations of the one that is called Orlando, who hath a comely visage, as he verily was stabbed in the gut with a pitch-fork. And we did also look upon wonders such as Geoffrey, and the man Wainthropp, and they spake of Urges. And we did watch The Price of Milk, and a wonder did occur, as I saw the light that is The Point of Karl. And --

Yes, this is getting annoying, isn't it? I had a lovely, lovely time at Lobelia's, even if I did miss my train.

EDIT: That was not the end of the entry! I did not mean to click Post, you stupid posting thing, and then you had to go and crash on me! Twice. Ah, sod it. I'm off to bed.

Well, sadly I didn't meet Billy. I arrived too late, and he's just too damn popular. Bad Billy. Oh, and this is Billy Boyd I'm talking about, for you non-fandom readers. Not Billy Idol, no.

Actually, I didn't meet anyone famous at all! *hangs head* I'm a bad fan.

But. I did see quite a lot of them, and that was terribly exciting! (I don't get out much). I managed to stand quite near Billy, and I projected all your messages at him using my powerful telepathy, so I'm sure he got them. Except for yours, I'm afraid, badgermonkey and shrinetolust, because I received them too late for telepathic projection. So sadly, Billy and Dom's script will go un-marked and Orlando's clothes will stay on. So will Billy's, I imagine, except for his trousers, which will be on the floor at eyebrowofdoom's house.

So, I had lots of fun and, most importantly, met the incredibly gorgeous and lovely trianne, hjartad, and angelislington! Which was great!. And here are some other things:

* Billy is very beautiful. I saw him wink at someone.
* Andy Serkis is gorgeous.
* John Rhys Davies used the whole experience as an excuse to tickle lovely ladies. I saw this with my own eyes.
* If you want a large quantity of little girls to get out of your way, fast - just get Tom Felton to walk past in the opposite direction.
*Paul McGann eats sandwiches and drinks Orangina, like ordinary people! I saw him doing this in the Costa Coffeeshop. With my own eyes!
* Billy is lovely, you know.
* Sala Baker looked at me! Although perhaps he was just looking at something near me. This is entirely possible.
* I had a ticket for the Andy Serkis queue, but really - one has to leave Milton Keynes some time!
* Billy!

My friend the secret papparazzo has kindly taken some very nice pics of famous people from behind potted palms. When he's sent them to me I'll endeavour to share them with you.