Well, not really a big old rant. I just wanted to have a go at explaining why the forthcoming film of The Dark is Rising makes me boil with incoherent rage. First, imagine a book you really care about. Then imagine they're talking about the movie adaptation of that book in the following quotes:

( Cut for the many people who probably don't care )

The more I hear about this book-banning guy in Alabama, the further my jaw drops. For instance:

Cutting off funds to theatre departments that put on A Chorus Line or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof may look like censorship, and smell like censorship, but "it's not censorship", Allen hastens to explain. "For instance, there's a reason for stop lights. You're driving a vehicle, you see that stop light, and I hope you stop."

...

Would Allen's bill cut off state funding for Shakespeare?

"Well," he begins, after a pause, "the current draft of the bill does not address how that is going to be handled. I expect details like that to be worked out at the committee stage. Literature like Shakespeare and Hammet [sic] could be left alone." Could be. Not "would be". In any case, he says, "you could tone it down".

I mean ... w t bloody f-ing f? Frankly I've got reservations about letting this man out on his own, forget going around introducing bills and stuff. But...

Earlier this week, Allen got a call from Washington. He will be meeting with President Bush on Monday. I asked him if this was his first invitation to the White House. "Oh no," he laughs. "It's my fifth meeting with Mr Bush."

So there you go. Not a joke, apparently.

From The Guardian. Link thanks to crazybutsound.

Um, bababa... what was I going to say? Oh yes.

rochefort brings to my attention this interview with Susan Cooper, which I don't think I've read before. Or if I have my brain has long since erased it to make room for random facts about boring things. It looks very interesting, although I haven't read it all yet.

Why is Yahoo so crap?

Eh... can't think of anything to say really. I'll stop bothering you now.

Ugh. I thought this cold was going away, but today I feel as though someone's poured glue into my head.

Good stuff in the Observer this week: I'm completely fascinated by Grayson Perry, the transvestite potter nominated for the Turner Prize. Also, I think I need Nigel Slater's book. Here he talks about food and sex.

Haven't done much this morning. Went to the Co-op -- the girl putting the vegetables out was giving me evil looks. Helped galactic_jack plan lessons, which was fun, more so because I don't have to teach any of them.

( My dream about shape-shifting dinosaurs -- PG-13 for disturbing imagery )

Do you think you’d be as compelling to people without the speculation?
Everyone has the things that they find interesting about someone else. The subject of sexuality doesn’t scare me. I find it funny. I find it entertaining. I think every straight man has the capability to have sex with another man. Don’t you agree?

I think every gay man views straight men as "get-able."
It’s true. It happens a lot, doesn’t it?

Robbie Williams in The Advocate

I feel good today. I found a Fray Bentos pie at the back of the cupboard which I didn't know I had. To me, this is a good thing. Others may not agree.

I went out with my good friends the Evil Lesbians yesterday, so-called because they are Truly and Utterly Evil (the lesbian bit is incidental), and whenever I go out with them I end up staggeringly drunk and without the ability to talk or use my legs. I once made the mistake of spending New Year with them and couldn't move for three days.

There was an interview with the very wonderful Alan Cumming in the Observer today. ( This bit made me chuckle rather )

I'm also becoming increasingly convinced that that paper's Barefoot Doctor column must be made up. It must be. ( It's completely barking )

I was very tempted to go and play at being a Lord of the Dark in thelostland, but my brain (which is France and Germany in the UN security council of my life) vetoed the decision, reminding me about the two Big Scary Projects and their Looming Deadlines, for which I have done Absolutely No Work. *kicks brain* Stupid internal organ. You knew those were the things you were supposed to avoid thinking about.

In other news, have finished American Gods, which was wonderful, and bought Neverwhere. Why I've never read this man before I do not know.

And in other other news, you people are all incredibly cool, fantastico, sparkly, delightful and other adjectives as well. So there.